Charles Darwin, Introvert

Charles Darwin's "Thinking Path" at his home (Down House)

"I'm never less at leisure than when at leisure, or less

alone than when alone."-- Scipio the Elder (235–183 BC)

Charles Darwin, introvert

My Work Center

My Work Center on April 19, 2010

"The happiest of all lives is a busy solitude." - Voltaire

In an earlier post there is a picture of a woman alone in a darkish room, writing at her desk.  At first glance that scene seems to illustrate the above quote.  However, after looking at the picture more carefully it seems that the woman is not actually a person who yearns for solitude, though she's smart enough to realize she needs an iota of it in order to write a thoughtful note.  One also realizes that the area in which she's writing is not the kind of space (as it is furnished and apparently cared for) that a person who thrives in solitude would be comfortable in.
 
I offer here a view of my own "inner sanctum."  This is the center of my life, actually.  Although I do a lot of outside (physical) work, it's here where I plan that work, and do a lot of other planning as well.  It's also where I download all the pictures I take with my camera (usually several to dozens every day) and delete/edit/disseminate them according to how "good" (my judgment) and how useful they are or might be for various purposes.

It's also where I keep up with my website and another blog besides this one, besides the online "shops" where some of my drawings are (very seldom) sold on mugs and stationery and where I put up new designs from time to time. It's here where I do most of my reading (from the computer and from books), and type up notes and prepare my blog posts, and it's from here that I order my books (and other items, but mostly books) as well as try to keep up with news and new articles and videos on all the subjects that interest me, and it's here that I plan my days, my weeks, and even - roughly - the whole year ahead (in December) and work on various projects.  Also, this is where I write and receive several emails every day.  And this is where I write down my thoughts, ideas, memories, quotes I come across, etc. that I may (and often do) find useful in the future.
 
It's also (mostly) here that I draw.  Note the little clipboard behind the computer keyboard -- That has been my "drawing table" for many, many years.  Just the other day I received a sketch board that I ordered which I intend to use now for drawing, though I haven't had time to use it yet.  Although small for a sketch board (18-1/2" x 19-1/2"), it's much larger than the clipboard yet won't be too large to see over and use comfortably while sitting in a chair.
 
The next time I take a picture of my "work center" the details will be a little different, depending on what I'm working on at the time.  I also hope to add some more shelves somewhere, perhaps on the wall if I'm lucky, so that I can see what I have - get more things up off the floor and out of boxes; that's probably just a dream, though.  For the most part it will still probably look pretty much as it does in the picture.  It suits me.  It's comfortable.  I don't worry about how it looks unless I think that someone might come by.  Luckily, usually people don't come by as I communicate mostly via email.

I think you will agree that although at first glance it may appear that I am a recluse who has no interest in people, the truth is that I am a communicator.  People are very important in my life.  It's just that my methods of communication are different than those of more extrovertish people due to my need to be for the most part alone in order to do be comfortable and do my best.

Introverts are Not Afraid of People

Introverts are not afraid of people - They simply prefer to be alone

There is a common misconception that introverts are afraid of people -- that they're shy, timid, fearful.  Although certainly there are introverts (as there are people who are not introverts with the same fear) who happen to be afraid of people, they are not afraid of them because they are introverts, but for other reasons!  I once ran into this misconception personally when I found out indirectly that I have apparently for a very long time been thought of by at least one person (probably others, too, I imagine) as a "fearful" person who is afraid of people -- for the reason that I would do most anything to avoid getting together socially. But the people I don't want to interact with are not people I am fearful of (nor do I usually dislike them); they are people with whom I have very little in common...or at least nothing that needs to be shared or discussed in a face-to-face social situation -- I don't mind at all talking in person to clerks in stores or librarians in a library or to any other people in situations where there is information that needs to be shared (these are not what I call "social" situations).

Introverts, when they communicate with people they are not around all the time, prefer to do some research, think ahead, and plan out what they're going to say and what they hope to achieve by means of the meeting. Furthermore, they prefer if possible to do carry out this "meeting" in writing, which they can take some time with to work out the best way to put things to accomplish what they need to accomplish, as well as take their time to let what others say sink in, and to note what they don't want to forget.

Introverts think better (they think differently than do non-introverts) and are more in command of themselves and their responses when they're by themselves and have time (and mental space) to prepare well. They can do their very best when alone. If an introvert were a "fish" then time spent alone would be his or her "water."

Extroverts, on the other hand, do their kind of thinking while talking aloud to or with someone; furthermore, they don't feel the time pressure imposed by a face-to-face situation that introverts feel strongly and are very much distracted by. If an extrovert were a "fish" then time spent with others would be his or her "water."

Besides not having the time (and mental space) to consider what I'm going to say and even what I'm going to do while "visiting" socially, another powerful reason I dislike "social only" gatherings of people  (be it only two people or any number of them) where extemporaneous speech about the topic of the second is expected  is that I believe there is no useful purpose served by most of these gatherings.  A lot of them are devoted to gossip and small talk or else to discussion of things everyone already knows, none of which I'm the least bit interested in.  And there are always things I would much rather be doing.  I am very sensitive to time and want to use it well. I do not think that sitting or standing around awkwardly talking about nothing of importance as the minutes and hours fly by is a good use of time and in fact to me it is an appallingly awful waste of time.  None of this has anything to do with being afraid of people.

I know what fear is like as I have a couple of actual phobias (needles, heights). I know that I have no fear of people. If I were afraid of people, I wouldn't want to be in a place where there were a lot of them. I wouldn't even want to go into a grocery store or a library or a post office (especially when there are long lines), but I don't mind being in these situations at all.  Also, it doesn't bother me at all to be a member of an audience...even a very large audience, as long as the event I'm there for is of interest to me.  The truth is that I don't mind being around people when I'm not required to socialize, and in fact I could be in a crowd of thousands and I would be fine under circumstances in which I was free to leave at any time if I wanted to, and where I wasn't pointed out and asked unexpected questions of (say for TV), and as long as I didn't have to play a social role more than simple politeness requires, or give a speech that I couldn't read from the page...yet even if I was expected to do any of these things I've just mentioned my wish to be away from there as soon as possible would not be inspired by fear of people. It would be more of a "fish out of water - can't be myself in these circumstances and I'm wasting time" type of motivation.

To me socializing without a useful purpose -- particularly a purpose in which I myself can be of good use (and I cannot be of good use when "out of water") -- is unnecessary and depressing. This is why I prefer spend most of my time alone, or with another introvert I'm compatible with and share interests with and work together with regularly. This desire to be alone has nothing to do with fear.

A Busy Solitude

Woman at her writing table

Lesser Ury (German, 1861 - 1931)

Picture source: Wikimedia

"The happiest of all lives is a busy solitude." - Voltaire

A busy solitude?  Yes, but a little too "busy" for me!  This woman looks intense -- her body tilting forward from the waist, head and neck even further inclined, shoulders scrunched up, her hand gripping the pen tightly with a fist held close to her body. Even the chair seems to be tipped forward, and its arms appear to be making a vain attempt to hold the woman back as she leans toward the letter she's writing. Even her neat upswept hairstyle, as pretty as it is, gives the impression that she is a particularly tidy woman who dresses for others. In other words, this dark and cozy interior isn't a place where she usually spends time alone. She looks more like an extrovert than an introvert. One can easily imagine her standing by that piano listening intently to her daughter or son practicing. But one can't imagine her: piling that desk with books that never go away, allowing dust to ever be seen in there, letting the room become cluttered with miscellanea she just might need to consult or use in some other way (perhaps just as inspiration), reading out of great curiosity or reading anything longer than a magazine article, or leaning back thinking without doing anything else at all, or spending time just staring out the window letting the thoughts pour in.

I would guess that any time she spent at that desk would be devoted to paying the bills and writing necessary letters to "Mother" and "Aunt Jane" to let them know what the family has been doing.

This seems to be an admirable woman. I'm sure she's a delightful wife and a very competent mother and a faithful friend. I'm glad there are people like her. But, oh what a waste of a cozy-looking interior space that would be such a sweet library and refuge for someone who loves solitude.

A Little Back Shop

"In solitude, where we are least alone." -- Lord Byron

"A man must keep a little back shop where he can be himself without reserve. In solitude alone can he know true freedom." -- Michel De Montaigne

The quotation above and at the top of each page of this blog was surely not meant to refer to an actual place, or I never thought so. To me it refers to "a place in the mind" that one can escape to even when sitting in a room full of people. However, it also makes me think of a real place - a room or a dedicated part of a room, inside or outside -- anywhere that is one's own to be by oneself in - and I do believe that such a place, no matter how small or "strange" or messy it may look to others can be a welcome, comforting, and extremely useful haven for an introverted person...a place where they can be themselves, immerse themselves completely in what they're interested in, and think of things and try things that can only be thought of and tried in solitude; and, ironically you might say, since they are alone, it is the place where they best communicate from, in writing and/or through other means of communication, including all the things they create there. It is also a place where one can contemplate well the thoughts and ideas and perspectives and vision and knowledge of others who have obviously spent much of their own time in solitude.

Do extroverts also need such a place, and in fact could they truly treasure and make good use of such a place if only for small amounts of time? Of course introverts and extroverts are not all gathered at extreme ends of the scale.  They are all along the scale, and there are some people in the middle who are introverts at times, extroverts at other times, to different degrees. So I feel sure that a majority of people can probably identify with this craving for a space of one's own - an absolutely private workshop or study type of area. However, the part-introvert/part-extrovert might want to be sure that their private space would look good in a House & Garden type magazine spread, while a "pure" extrovert might think such a personally dedicated area is completely unnecessary and a waste of good space. An introvert doesn't care how it looks; he or she needs that place in order to be themselves. I'm an introvert, myself.